Today makes a year that Kadesha has been gone. It's still unreal to me. Of course I didn't get to tell her goodbye or that I loved her. I'm sure she knew that I did, but for me, saying goodbye makes things more real. With the time difference between Japan and Virginia, by the time that I knew it had gotten that bad, it was too late. I tried calling the hospital to tell her goodbye but the nurse at the front desk said it was too late to transfer calls to the room. I guess she didn't understand me when I told her it could be my last chance to tell her how I feel. It still hurts me everyday to think that I'll never see her beautiful face or hear her contagious laugh. When I think about baby Zach I just bawl my eyes out. He was her whole world.
Kadesha was more of a sister to me than my real sister. I still remember when she hung out with the Swanson twins and drove the green mustang. I remember her always telling me we were going to go 'cruising' and calling me sis. Or the time that I thought having braces were so cool because she had them and her & maybe Bonnie(i can't remember at the time) were at mammaws and they made me braces out of paperclips. My memories of her make me smile even when I want to sit back and cry.
I love you Kadesha and miss you more and more everyday! RIP my angel.
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