It's been too long

Okay, Okay... I know I don't have many followers, but I have slacked in the blogging department. I want to say I was just too busy, but in all reality I just didn't have anything good to write about.

Since my last post I lost our sweet little baby. I went in for my first ultrasound on May 12, 2009 and found out it never even formed. My body still managed to think I was pregnant, though. I ended up having to take the pill to force the baby out of my body, I wasn't able to do it naturally on my own. I have to tell you it was the worst experience of my life. I wouldn't wish the physical or emotional pain on my worst enemy. I like to think that I grew from that experience, as did my relationship with my wonderful husband and my relationship to God.  I know he would never put me through anything that I couldn't handle. 

happy moments, praise god. difficult moments, seek god. quiet moments, worship god. painful moments, trust god. every moment, thank god!

We did end up having a pretty good Summer. One of Daniel's friends and his girlfriend from back home came to visit us here in Okinawa, Japan. We ended up seeing a lot of stuff we hadn't seen before. Exploring was fun!  I sometimes forget how lucky I am to be in such a beautiful place. Seeing their faces as they experienced things here in Okinawa really brought me back to when I first got here. I honestly cannot believe I have less than 8 months left on island.

At the end of July we got news that Daniel would be deploying to Iraq at the end of the year. I have to say I have dreaded that moment ever since I found out he was joining the military.  He's really excited about it and I'm standing behind him %110 supporting him. I'm nervous, scared, anxious... So many emotions all balled up.  I feel like being away from him for a week is like forever, I can't imagine months and months. I just know that when he gets back we'll be venturing on to a new chapter in our lives. 

We will be leaving Okinawa between June-August 2010. It's a little bittersweet. I know how much I will miss walking out my front door and smelling the ocean.. Seeing the ocean from my kitchen window. Cocoks & CoCos. So many things... But I'm ready to be back in the U.S.A!!! We are keeping our fingers crossed for Tampa, FL or Charleston, SC. I'd be ecstatic with either one!

So the most exciting news of all!!!!!! We're pregnant AGAIN!!!! We weren't really trying anymore because of the deployment but what they say is true, when you stop trying, it will happen. On August 31 I took a test and got a positive. I didn't know what to think. I was so happy that I was in tears. All I could do was just smile and smile at that line on the test... I quickly rushed to the computer to find a Due Date Calculator to estimate my due date. The result I got back was May 12, 2010. Now tell me that isn't irony. We found out on May 12, 2009 that we lost our sweet little baby and now on May 12, 2010 we were expecting another one. Have I mentioned that GOD IS GOOD! I feel that it's God's way of keeping our first one with us. We decided to keep this one a secret until we at least got an okay on an ultrasound. I honestly did not want to put my family and friends through all of that again...

So far this pregnancy has been fairly easy. Around week 6 I started getting morning sickness, or as I'd like to call it all-stinking-day-sickness. I was nauseous all day long, gagged to the point of hurling so many times, couldn't walk in my kitchen without gagging. I felt so bad for Daniel. Poor guy has had to wait on my hand and foot. 'Honey get me this, Honey get me that'. He sure is a trooper and I'm so lucky to have him in my life.  Around week 9 I started feeling some what better. I was super anxious about my upcoming u/s!

On October 6, 2009 I experienced the most amazing thing in my entire life. I got to see our sweet little jellybean & hear its heartbeat. Unfortunately, Daniel didn't get to experience this with me since he had to qualify for his deployment but we got lots of pics!  My doctor had read my chart and noticed how anxious I was. My hands were sweating and I couldn't stop fidgeting. I mentioned to her that I wanted to keep my eyes closed until she found a baby and when she did she could tell me to open my eyes.  She was so amazing, she found the baby and said, 'Whitney, meet your sweet baby'. I couldn't help but to tear up and Thank God.  She said she thought the baby was asleep because it wasn't moving very much. Once we turned the heartbeat doppler on that sure woke it up. It started wiggling around and moving its tiny little legs. Then it raised its little arm and put its hand over its face like, 'C'mon mom.. I'm trying to sleep here'. It had a strong heartbeat of 175! My doctor told me that most of the time little girls have high heartbeats.  

At this point in time I honestly can say I don't care what the sex is, as long as I get a healthy little baby.. Everyone is telling me girl, while Daniel is rooting for a boy! 

On to other things. Have you ever read something and say, "I want to be just like her/him". Someone posted a link a few weeks back to this persons blog. I started reading it and just couldn't stop. I went back and read every single one of their posts and have become so inspired. Most everyone knows me knows that I lost my sweet cousin Kadesha in 2008 to ovarian cancer.  This blog really touched home to me. As I read through the posts Sarah and her husband Brady posted as Sarah battled breast cancer, I realized I want to be just like her. She is such an inspiration to me. She was battling the most evil disease but her faith in God never suffered. Tears flowed from my eyes with each post. She was so beautiful and their love is so strong.  It just goes to show that a complete stranger can truly, truly inspire you. I think everyone should go check out the blog.  http://bandssullivan.blogspot.com/

Okay, enough for me.. I have to go find something to eat.. Ice cream sounds really good right about now :)

It's been too long

It's been so long since I've updated.

Not much has been going on here, just the same ol' same ol'. Last week I got super sick. I ended up having a 24 hour bug but I threw up for about 15 hours straight. I haven't felt that bad in a LONG time. I'm just glad that it's over and I feel better.

I'm now 8 weeks and 3 days. I went for a prenatal class today where I had to fill out all of my medical history and all of that good stuff. I go for my first ultrasound on May 12. I am so excited. I'll be 10 weeks and 3 days at that time so it should look like a baby for the most part, not a blob. 

Daniel and I love this little baby like none other. All I can think about is what I'm having, what he/she will look like, if it will have it's daddy's perfect feet/hands and my bright blue eyes. I've fallen in love with the possibilities. 

Nana(my mom) is absolutely nuts. All she wants to do is buy stuff. It's wayyy too soon for all of that-haha. Although I feel her craze.

Btw- I'm jealous of you in VA getting 80 degree weather. I live on a stinkin' tropical island and it's been sooo chilly here. I'm ready for beach weather so I can go lay out!

I've had a craving for Dari Barn. All of you from Wise Co. know what I'm talking about. I want a huge peanut butter milkshake & an order of cheesesticks so bad it's killing me! :) Someone eat some for me-hahaha!

Be thankful...

Sorry it's been so long. The past week or so I haven't felt so great.

Last week was Spring Break for me and it felt so good to just sleep in. I was sleeping until 10am and sometimes till 11. If you know me, you know this is odd. I wake up at 7am even when I don't have to work. It was very nice & much needed.

I've been feeling so sick since last Thursday. I had to start taking a 3 day dose of  antibiotics for a UTI that they found in my prenatal labs. Since then I have felt HORRIBLE. I started running a fever. My fever would break and I would be covered in sweat. I was tired the whole time and very nauseous. Last night Daniel said I was radiating heat. I ended up sleeping with a fan blowing directly in my face. I didn't get much sleep last night. Absolutely nothing seems appetizing to me. I would much rather not eat, but I know that they baby needs food. Today I decided to take the day off of work since I woke up at about 5:30 throwing up. There was nothing to throw up but stomach bile. Disgusting. 

But then I went into work to pick up Kate from school(what an easy day) and I ran into one of my old neighbors. I told her I was pregnant and the first thing she said was, 'How do you feel?'. Of course I tell her that I feel like absolute death and she said, "That's a good thing". She told be about a miscarriage she had and that the whole time she was pregnant she never got sick so she just knew something was wrong. 

So the whole point of this blog is this. As much as I whine and complain about being sick & so over pregnancy, I truly am thankful and feel so blessed. After talking to my old neighbor today I thought about all of the people that I know having a hard time conceiving and people that have had multiple miscarriages. I can't even imagine how you feel.. And to see me complaining about such a blessing. I'm very sorry. I do not take this for granted. I love this baby growing inside of me so much that it hurts.  I know that it will be so worth it in the end. 

Saturday I will be 7 weeks. I think I'm already showing. A lot of people are noticing that I'm pregnant if I wear tight clothing. So when I turn 8 weeks, get ready for pics :)

Also, Congrats to Tori & Brandon Bevins. They welcomed baby Olivia into the world. Can't wait to see pics of her. I'm sure she's beautiful!!!

Sesame Seeds & Cantaloupes

My baby is now the size of a sesame seed. It's heart should start pumping blood & beating this week.  I'm amazed.

My boobs are the size of cantaloupes. I can only imagine what they'll be when this pregnancy is over. I'll have enough fruit for everyone :)

I've been looking more and more into cloth diapering. Why do I have to have such expensive taste? All of the ones that I really like are like 24 dollars or more. LOL.  We are going to start buying up now so that when the baby gets here, it will be all set. They are expensive to start up, but I know we will have more than one baby so they'll pay for themselves in the end & help our environment all at the same time. Who knew I would ever become so tree-huggin' hippie? Recycling, disposable diapers, green products. Oh my! 

What do you think about North Korea and it's missile launch? I was laying on the couch today, flipping through the channels when the "BREAKING NEWS" came on. I can't believe they went through with it. I think we should just take them out and get over it. If the missile launches are successful Iraq/Afghanistan/Iran etc. will all jump on the bandwagon.  I can only imagine what will come of it.  

Welp, I'm off to lay down. I have an entire week off. How exciting! :)

You are the promise I knew God would keep.

So I haven't posted anything in a while and a lot has changed. Most everyone that follows me here in blogger is also my friend on myspace or facebook and knows that I'm knocked up. :)

At first I was completely in shock and didn't know if I could be happy with this. Now I couldn't be happier. I love this little baby so much already that my heart could explode.

I'm so emotional. I read on babycenter everyday how my baby is growing and what is going on with it's development each week. I cry everytime. Right now my little baby is an embryo the size of a poppyseed and starting to form it's organs. To me, that is so crazy.

Lately the baby hasn't hated me as much at night as it used to. Thank God. I can finally eat without my stomach feeling all funky.  My body must REALLY love milk right now though. This is something I HATE but it's all that I can drink right now. It's all I crave.

I have to say that Daniel has been absolutely amazing thus far. He cleans up every night. I haven't had to do a single dish in over a week and this makes me a very happy wife/mommy.

I will be 5 weeks tomorrow. Only 3-4 more weeks until we get an ultrasound. I know I wont be able to see much but it will make me so happy to finally see something inside of me. Other than looking at the pictures.

Okay, I'm rambling on. I can't really concentrate. Just wanted to write a few things down.

Now I will leave you lyrics to a song that I'm absolutely in love with.

It's been a year and my heart still aches.

Today makes a year that Kadesha has been gone. It's still unreal to me. Of course I didn't get to tell her goodbye or that I loved her. I'm sure she knew that I did, but for me, saying goodbye makes things more real. With the time difference between Japan and Virginia, by the time that I knew it had gotten that bad, it was too late. I tried calling the hospital to tell her goodbye but the nurse at the front desk said it was too late to transfer calls to the room. I guess she didn't understand me when I told her it could be my last chance to tell her how I feel. It still hurts me everyday to think that I'll never see her beautiful face or hear her contagious laugh. When I think about baby Zach I just bawl my eyes out. He was her whole world.

Kadesha was more of a sister to me than my real sister. I still remember when she hung out with the Swanson twins and drove the green mustang. I remember her always telling me we were going to go 'cruising' and calling me sis. Or the time that I thought having braces were so cool because she had them and her & maybe Bonnie(i can't remember at the time) were at mammaws and they made me braces out of paperclips. My memories of her make me smile even when I want to sit back and cry.

I love you Kadesha and miss you more and more everyday! RIP my angel.

Goodbyes are always the hardest.

In life, people always say that goodbyes are always the hardest. I should have known that becoming a military wife meant that I will have to say goodbye over and over again. With moving every 3 years, I will meet amazing people, people that will touch my heart forever. On April 23, 2009, I have to say goodbye to my best friend.

When I came to Okinawa I kept telling myself that I would never find anyone that I could be close to like Catherine & Missy. Come to find out, a girl that I didn't know was stalking me on myspace after seeing me on a mutual friends list. The thing is, I was stalking her too. After finally realizing that we were both stalking each other, we added each other on myspace to be friends. We had lots of conversations about the most random things on AIM. Then after one drunken night at a Halloween party thrown by Tabby, I met Kim and her husband Johnny.  

To make a long story short, we became the best of friends. We didn't think this day would come so soon. Johnny and Kim weren't supposed to PCS until the beginning of next year and Daniel and myself would follow shortly after. But they're leaving in less than 5 weeks and I'm still not too sure what I'm going to do with myself. 

To Kim, John & Itty Bitty Baby... I will miss you like none other.. We were destined to be best friends. I expect weekly phone calls and updates everyday on the baby! :) I can't wait till you have that little girl(yes i'm still praying it's a girl). You are going to be just as amazing parents as you are friends. I love you & miss you already and you haven't even left yet.